Comparison Kills Joy

I was all set to post a recipe today, but a few days ago someone on Facebook posted a quote that simply stated "Comparison Kills Joy" & those 3 little words have been bouncing around in my head since I first read them because I am completely guilty of them.  So sorry one pan garlic honey chicken dish, you're going to have to wait till Monday, I have some things I need to get off my chest.

I've always struggled with comparing myself to others. Don't get me wrong, I know I have a pretty awesome life & I'm so incredibly lucky in so many ways.  I have a pretty fantastic family, I'm getting married to just the best person ever in a few short months, I have a job I love, I have 3 crazy dogs who just make every day better, I have a lovely home & I'm healthy (want me to shut up now?) Life is pretty good.  I GET THAT. There are many times when I'm so happy with how my life has turned out I could just burst. But why doesn't that stop me from comparing myself to others? I don't know.

Since starting my blog back up after an almost 6 month hiatus, I've noticed my numbers have been down just a bit.  This should come as no surprise. Any blogger (or person with a brain) knows the more you post, the more likely you'll get traffic.  However, it can still be incredibly disheartening! With the way our world is, it's really really hard not to compare yourselves to others. I look at other blogs & I see they have tons of people commenting, or they get tons of likes on Facebook & it's hard not to be jealous!  But what about when your own friends/family aren't reading your blog or aren't commenting on your posts?   There are times when I KNOW some friends or even my own family hasn't been following along.  How does that make a person feel?  I had a family member ask me the other day if I HAD a blog. I mean, REALLY? In my twisted brain, I look at all these other successful blogs & think to myself "Oh I bet all their friends read their posts" & yet, the complete opposite could be true! But for some reason, my mind immediately goes there.  Also, I'm pretty sure my people all have crazy hectic lives...it's selfish to think they would read every post. Does it mean they aren't supportive? Of course not. Now, if only I could remember that.

But, it's also really hard not to compare yourself to the people you're closest with.  Take my sister for example. I LOVE her to pieces. LOVE. She's my best friend (although ask me that when we were growing up & I think we both would have laughed in your face) & one of the few people I can TRULY be myself around.  She's been on this awesome fitness kick for the last few years & has lost a ton of weight. She's a HUGE inspiration to anyone who wants to lose weight but she STILL enjoys a cheeseburger now & then.  With the wedding coming up, she's been kicking her workouts into overdrive & the scale is constantly dropping for her. Which is awesome...for her.  Yet, I, as the bride have NOT gone into crazy workout mode & have lost 0 lbs. SHOCKING.  Is it my own fault? OF COURSE IT IS. Do I want to be thinner for the wedding? WHO WOULDN'T.  Yet, I'm crazy jealous of how well she's done & how great she looks. Even though it is 100% my fault, is it still hard for me not to compare myself to her? Yes.

Sometimes, I find I'm so caught up in comparing myself to others or worried what others will think that I end up missing out on something great.  Over the last few years I've practiced yoga on & off.  Truth be told, I'm not a flexible person. Never have been, never will be.  I danced for 15 years growing up & even then, I wasn't flexible. A few of my girlfriends enjoy yoga & while speaking with one of my friends, I mentioned my lack of flexibility. Her response was "Yeah, I'm pretty bend-y" & then she proceeded to ask me if I wanted to take a class with her. HAHAHA that's funny. Let's take a class where I fall on my face while you're holding a pose perfectly. That sounds like a great opportunity for me to not feel bad about myself.  But now looking back, her comment was completely harmless...I'm the one who blew it out of proportion by comparing myself to her. She's a wonderful friend & a lovely person who will love me whether I fall on my face or not.

So what the hell is the point of this post? No, it's not just to complain because I do realize, I'm kind of all over the place. But writing also isn't something I claim to be good at. Anyways, back to the point.  The point is, I have GOT to stop comparing myself to others, what their doing with their lives & I've GOT to stop comparing my blog to other blogs.  If we spend all my time comparing ourselves to others, we WILL miss out on all the good things in our own lives. COMPARISON DOES KILL JOY.

In the spirit of this new mindset, tonight I agreed to go with two girlfriends to a yoga class where despite being the least flexible person there (I assume, though probably a safe assumption) I'm going to NOT compare myself to my more advanced friends & just enjoy the moment, or try to if I'm not dying.

I am a firm believer in personal self growth, so here's what I'm going to be working on. No more comparing myself to the people I love. No more caring if the people closest to me pay no attention to my posts.  I am responsible for my own happiness, nobody else is.


  1. So I find this interesting. You are always telling me to stop comparing myself to others on FB or in the community! You moved to LA with out a job.Slept on an air mattress in your apt for weeks waiting for furniture and landed a fabulous job. Moved up the ladder and moved on. I would say that's pretty spectacular!

    1. It's so much easier to tell someone else what to do than to do it yourself! I am completely guilty of it, but it's something we can both work on together!

  2. I'm reading!! I'm also crazy guilty of the joy thief, and find myself comparing my work, products, and personal self to others a lot. I feel your pain. I'm currently working through the book A Course in Miracles, and it's incredibly helpful.

    As a side note, connecting with other bloggers might help? Do you have a Rising Tide group near you? It's a band of makers/bloggers/creatives that are there to lift each other up, with the mind that community trumps over competition...

    1. Thank you for reading!!! I'm unfamiliar with Rising Tide but I'm going to look into it! Thanks for making the suggestion!!!

  3. You are an amazing woman, friend, producer, dog mama and the list goes on. All of your people see it in you. Take this time to figure out how you can see it in yourself! I find it ironic that I had to move to LA of all places to meet someone that grew up a matter of miles from me and then went to the same university as me, but whatever the reason I had to wait to have you in my life, I'm glad I have you now! We are all here, we just might be a little silent at times. Love you!